freakingID

The leaf bags complete the scene.

I really hate using the telephone. I beat myself up for not calling mom or Amanda enough, but really—I just can’t stand to use the phone on purpose. That’s one of the reasons I don’t have a cel phone. Oh My God, cel phones are the absolute worst, actually.

That dude's car is just ugly. I don't like it.

Cel phones mean people can bug you at any time, anywhere. If you don’t answer your cel phone, you are making a conscious decision to avoid communicating, which in my case results in the Superego’s hammer of guilt pounding me. No thanks. Sure, you could say by refusing to get a cel phone I’m doing the same thing—but that’s only one hammer hit, and is more a question of lifestyle (and financing) than trying to avoid people.

And in this direction: A paycheck.

Cel phones mean you are beholden to more explanation of what you’re doing with your time. If you have a cel phone with you, and someone calls you, but you don’t answer, then you will have to explain what you were doing that made you not answer the phone. If what you were doing was private, then you either need to lie or tell the truth and face a needless interrogation about your motivations. I already feel 90% of my desires and actions are under a microscope. Carrying a cel phone would just bump that up to 100% real-time accountability. No thanks.

Whatever

It’s not just cel phones, either. People call me at work and I often don’t answer. Then I figure out who it was and email them. I can communicate better with them in writing. I can provide screenshots, photographs, whatever they might need to explain better. I can give them an explanation without being interrupted. In my view, it is just better customer service.

The bottom line is, don’t freak out if I don’t call you hardly at all, and if your calls are always going to voicemail. I’d rather carry a frog in my pocket than use the telephone.

Don’t take it personally.